As you all know, or should know, I’m Persian. My dad is the head of the Persian Mafia (so don’t mess), and my whole family is a bunch of Persians. Now, I’ll admit, I don’t know the language. I know some words, phrases and numbers 1-10, so I string them all together so people think I’m fluent. For example, if someone asks me to speak Farsii (which is the Persian language), I will say something like “man haile, cherah aziat miconi, choobi, yak doe se.” This means “I like why are you bothering me okay one two three.” And they’ll be impressed. Of course it’s not written like that. Farsii doesn’t use the English alphabet, but I am trying to make a point.
I was joking about my dad being the head of the Persian mafia by the way - or was I?
What Persian men do on Friday nights..or at least the men in my family
Anyway, what inspired that little rant is that I went home for the weekend for my second cousin’s wedding. So, not only were all my first cousins home, but my second cousins from Israel and California, and some of my family that lives in Canada. A little background:I have eight first cousins on my mom’s side, four of whom I’m really close to and see around twice a week when I’m home. They’re all a little older than me, aged somewhere in between 21-and 24-years-old. They, along with my brother and I, are referred to by our aunts, uncles and parents as the “Six Pack.” We’re cool, I know. Anyway, I’m kind of like the black sheep of the six of us, as I get made fun of by them ALL THE TIME. I kind of see a pattern between them and everyone else in my life. But, it’s ok. If I got embarrassed easily, I would never leave my room.
To show you what I deal with, I’ll explain how they went to town on my blog. All weekend.
Adam (my brother) mocking my blog: “Hey guys! Why do you read my blog? Shout-out to Aaron for being so cool. Today I went to the cafeteria. Shout out to Jeremy who’s reading this on a different schedule. I went to class. Shout out to Emily who is in Sevilla. I hope you’re having a great time. Speaking of time, there was a time when I saw Aaron today. Shout-out to Aaron again!”
Delilah (my cousin) mocking my blog: “Today, my friend got a fake ID. Instead of telling me he got a fake ID, he said “Chika Chika Yeah.” I laughed. I would have thought it was funny with one chika but he threw in two chika’s for good measure.”
Alex (my cousin): “When you wrote in your last post ‘I don’t know why you guys read my blog?’ I was thinking ‘I don’t know why, either.’”
So, yeah. That’s what I deal with. This happened on the way to THE city (yes, THE city- and im not talking about Chicago), where my cousins, brother and I were going to have dinner together and then meet up with my Israeli second cousins at a lounge for drinks. In retrospect (and at the time), we realized it’s not the best idea to wing where you’re going to go to dinner in NYC on a Saturday night. Not only that, but we all wanted different types of food. So to decide, we first all tried to vote on what type of food we wanted. Yeah, that didn’t work. Then we told my cousin Delilah who lives in the city to throw out names of restuarants around where we were. She buckled under the pressure. Adam called Maxi, a sports bar, to figure out if we could get a table. They said “we do not have a table available” and Adam responded with “when will you do have a table available?”
After dinner, we headed to the lounge. After Daniellah’s 14th attempt to parallel park, we went inside and I had the best time. I hadn’t seen my second cousins in a while and it was good times. I miss and love them, and couldn’t wait for the wedding.
At the wedding ceremony, I was reminded of the last wedding of their’s we went to, when they played live music, song after song, and my cousin Daniellah and I were getting antsy. As the sixth song starts playing, Dani goes “this is track 6 out of 19. This song is called ‘Why?’ or in Farsii ‘Cherah?”
Dancing, drinking, taking the camera away from my mom, it was a lot of fun. Oh, and interesting people; this waiter came up to me and Delilah and said, "So i hear this is a pretty crazy party" and when my cousin responded with "I don't think I know what you mean," he said "sex, drugs." Nope, definitely didnt know what he meant. But I'm pretty sure he was the one lighting it up, not us.
I’m happy I went home and miss them all already.
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