The California File

So, since I've been getting notifications on my wall asking when I'm planning to update my blog, here it goes...

First, I would like to say, can you believe that? I thought I was the only one who reads this thing. My mom doesn't even read it anymore. Maybe someone will find this and my blog will be bought and then I'll get paid to write it. The possibilities are endless. I mean, let's face it: it IS really content-rich.

No, but seriously, I actually do have stuff of significance to write about this time because I did just go abroad to Hawaii. Well, fine, it was to California. But with a little bit of imagination, it could be Hawaii. There are beaches, mountains, surfing, palm trees, tourist traps, sand, people, a sky...

The trip started off with a 5 1/2-hour plane ride. Since the flight left at 10 a.m. (way too early in my book), I asked the stewardess for a blanket, curled up in a ball underneath the blanket and fell asleep. I looked like I was in an igloo. 

After arriving in California at 1:30 p.m., I call Jacqui and this is how the conversation went:

Me: "Hey Jacqui!"

Jacqui: "You landed? Crap MOM I told you we should have left. No, I TOLD you."

Me: "Jacqui, it's ok. Don't worry about it!"

Jacqui: "Are you still on the plane?"

Me: "Nope, I'm at baggage claim."

Jacqui: "You're not even on the plane?! MOM she's not even on the plane! I told you we should have left. We're coming right now! Sorry!"

So, I waited outside in the beautiful weather. Jacqui's house was so nice. I'm talking hot tubs. We did a lot, including go to the donkey farm where the donkey that the Shrek donkey was based off of lived. I'm pretty much famous now by association.

We also went to Santa Cruz to go to the beach, boardwalk and rides. This was an adventure. This is also where I found out that Jacqui drives like a grandma. Seriously. I asked her if I should call my friend while I was sitting in the passenger seat and she reacted as though I was crazy. "We'll call when we get to the beach. I need to focus on the road!"

We got to the amusement park and Jacqui wanted to go on this ride called "Fireball." I'm all for amusement parks, but I do NOT do scary rides. And let me tell you, this one looked CRAZY, flipping all over the place. But Jacqui's been on it before and she assured me it's not scary and it doesn't go upside down. And not to mention, this 5 year-old girl who was eavesdropping on our conversation looked at me and said, "it's not scary." Rather rudely, if you asked me. 

Two seconds later, I'm a bajillion feet in the air, staring at the ground. My sunglasses had flown off to who knows where (most likely the other side of the amusement park) and Jacqui is screaming in my ear saying, "AHHHHH I forgot it went upside down AHHHHHH." SURE Jacqui, SURE.

It was around this time that I figured it was best to leave Jacqui and head to Southern California to see my buds, Amy and Jonah.

Amy lives on top of a mountain, so imagine swimming at her house and looking out at the view. It was incredible. We went to Malibu beach, Hollywood, and she took me on a tour of Calabasas where I pet miniature horses. We went to a park where celebs like to hang out and I totally saw Cher's dogwalker (a.k.a a random woman walking a dog) and Tom Cruise's son (does he even have a son?).

We then went to L.A. and Jonah took us to Beverly Hills and Venice Beach and to my favorite new restaurant, "Diddy Reese," where they served fresh cookies, and made you ice cream sandwiches for $1.50. The guy who worked there is the only guy in the world who thought I was funny. I liked him.

Then we went on the Jimmy Kimmel show (well, I mean as part of the audience. Not onstage. But with my blog being as popular as it is, who knows). We thought Ice Cube was going to be on it, but it turned out Drew Barrymore was on it! And Jimmy Kimmel. It was fun times.

On the flight back, the woman sitting next to me did everything I did. She ordered the food I ordered, the drink I ordered and when I started cooing to the baby in front of us, she did it too. And I'm not talking coincidentally ordering the same thing: she asked me what it was I got, and then ordered it. Weird.

Overall, great trip!

The Mifflin file

So Mifflin was fun - I hear.

I didn't exactly make it to Mifflin. Here's the rundown:

I woke up at 7:00 a.m, the earliest my roommate has ever seen me awake. Did you know the sun came out before noon?

Em Eaton blasted Justin Bieber as we got ready (an excellent start to the day). I went down to Lauren's room around 7:30 a.m. to meet Lauren, Jacqui, Jacqui's friend Danielle, and Nicole. They made mimosas and were drinking champagne. But I'm a Mifflin amateur and wasn't feeling up to grimacing through mixed drink after mixed drink, so I opted for four shots of vodka and chased them with lemonade. Mistake number one.

I then went to Alyssa's apartment where she was making french toast for a bunch of us. I sat on her couch staring at a music video that I couldn't understand. It was a guy singing but the music video showed the same girl with different guys throughout the whole thing. I couldn't put it together. Who was the guy singing? (The four shots weren't helping me to understand.) We then headed to ZBT because I couldn't take it anymore...

Well, my friends, I may or may not have started a beer fight. All I know is that I was drenched in beer and was throwing it at the guys. This was after I got peer pressured into a keg stand (22 seconds) and a beer bong (my first one!).

My friends Nicole and Jacqui said they were socializing and all of a sudden turn around and see me drenched in beer and were like, "what the hell?!"

Nicole: "Did you jump in the keg?"

I went into ZBT and attempted to dry off with Curren's towel. I tried to take it out of ZBT with me but he wasn't having that. A little while and one lost sandal later, I went back to AXO where my friends insisted I change. I snuggled up in Lauren's bed and was out like electricity after a thunderstorm (I have a midterm in weather in climate on Tuesday, so now I can pawn this off as studying).

Anyway, five hours later, at 5 p.m, I woke up, confused as to why I was in my bed and not on Mifflin. Furthermore, I missed a call from my housefellow from last year :(.  I called Alyssa, and we planned to meet for dinner (my lunch) on State Street. I was still not sober while I tried to find her. It took some time, but eventually I found her.

After, I went back to her apartment to nap and all of a sudden, I look at Alyssa's ankle and it's the size of a basketball. She apparently fell down the stairs and it's now sprained, Jacqui, Nicole and Lauren came over and we chilled as I held ice to Alyssa's ankle and went on an Advil hunt around her apartment.

Overall, great time (from what I was awake for), and congrats to Lauren who didn't fall, Nicole who didn't run away or lose anything, and to Jacqui and Nicole for almost getting arrested but managing not to.

The Series of Unfortunate Events File

For those of you who don't know, I ventured to Europe over spring break with my roommate. This was no ordinary trip and when I say it was Eurotrip-esq, I am in no way exaggerating. So, get out some popcorn, some m&ms, maybe a misous and brace yourself for a long post.

Before the trip even began, in the "planning" stages (a.k.a the "eh, whatever happens happens" stages), I gave my roomie and traveling companion, Emily Eaton, the responsibility of choosing the third country to visit. I had already chosen London and Paris (yes, I'm aware these aren't countries) to visit my dear friends Emily Eckhous, Zac Miller, Jonah Braun and Jon Richman. Eaton wrote "Luxembourg" on my FB wall (that's "Facebook," mom and dad), and I enthusiastically responded, "Yes," without really knowing anything about it. Our first mistake.

Em attempted booking the train ticket from Paris to Luxembourg, and failed because it wouldn't get to us on time. We considered having them mailed to Jonah and Jon's apartment in Paris, but the site refused. No biggie, we thought. We'll decide in London with the help of my aunts. (I have family in London and Paris - our LIFESAVERS and reasons we weren't selling our clothes for money, a hairdryer and a place of residence on the street).

My aunt Rozy had asked me to bring her some cigarettes from Duty Free. I called my parents and they told me to buy some for my aunt Yvonne, as well. Persians and their cigs. I'm joking, I don't think there's a correlation. Anyway, as I pay for the eight cartons of cigarettes and two massive packs of m&ms that a sumo wrestler would consume, I received a dirty look from a woman perusing Duty Free. Oh boy, I thought. She definintely thinks these are for me. And she definitely thinks I'm 14 years old.

But I forgot about that a second later when the woman behind the counter told me I get a free purse for the amount of money I spent buying their entire cigarette inventory (eight cartons of cigarettes = 80 packs).

Side note: Em is watching a woman give birth on TV right now because the German game show she was watching ended.

Emily and I discovered that our seats on the plane were not together. We scouted out our travel buddies, and Emily spotted a boy. "I hope one of us sits next to him. He looks agreeable," she said. Who does she end up sitting next to? The boy! "I got this," I said.

"Hi, do you mind changing seats with my friend?" I asked.

"No problem." Now I felt bad.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, it's ok."

"Really? Because I don't want to make you do anything," I say. I was about to pull out the "On a scale from 1-10, how comfortable are you with changing seats?" when he cut me off and said "really, it's ok."

I started stuffing the cigarettes in my new purse when I saw a woman behind me giving me a dirty look. Not again. Em noticed and says loudly, "Alex, you really should stop chain-smoking." Seriously, Em? "These aren't for me," I felt the need to "casually" say aloud once, twice, five times, so the woman would stop grilling me.

14 hours later, we arrived at my aunt's townhouse where we planned to stay until Zac got home and called. My aunt said my cousin from Boston was visiting and not to wake him. Well then it was a bad idea telling me. I bolted up the stairs and barged in on him.

I told him our dilemna and he laughed in our faces as the word "Luxembourg" came out of my mouth. He told us to choose another location, let us nap for six hours and then took us out in the city. Emily announced that two of her three goals in London is to ride the double-decker bus and take a picture inside of a phonebooth.

It hit me that we didn't know where Zac lived. Miraculously, we ended up outside of his door five hours later. Zac was shocked. "I can't believe you ended up outside of my door. I literally gave you no directions." We're clearly meant to be world travelers.

Our cabbie was a sweetheart and we decided to join forces when Emily and I get out of college. I will be the journalist, he, the detective and Emily, the psychic. I don't know how that last part was decided and I'm concerned for my future if it ends up that way.

Side note: I'm planning on being in the Guiness Book of World Records with the length of this blog. If you're still there, I'm impressed :).

I caught up with Zac and it was really good seeing him. As three strangers walked in his door, he informed us that they were there visiting his roommate who was in Whales for the next few days. Zac took us to a pub and we left the next afternoon.

We made it to the chunnel five minutes before it's supposed to leave and couldn't get through. The woman working there gave us a sideways glance. Ok, I don't really know what a sideways glance looks like, but she looked at us as if we had five heads and said, "you must be here a half hour ahead of time, not five minutes." Oh. Right. (Emily claims she knew this). The lady directed us towards the ticket exchange and we got free tickets for a train that leaves an hour later.

One lasagna and three bottles of free wine later, I was out and the train took us to Paris. We checked into the hostel and Jonah, Jon, Curren and Emily met us there an hour later and took us to dinner. After dinner, they took us on a long walk passed 10 crepe stands. The cobble-stoned streets were beautiful. We get to a jazz bar and chill (a.k.a I spill Jonah's drink).

We spent the next day with Emily Eckhous and friends. We went to Notre Dame, the Jewish Quarter and the Louvre, and then an American bar with music trivia later that night.

The next day, I woke up early (10 a.m.) to say bye to Emily Eckhous. Yes, I got lost and she was staying two streets away from me in the Latin Quarter of Paris. But I'm giving myself some leeway because I was in Paris. Emily Eaton got yelled at because the hostel closed from 11 a.m. - 4 p.m., and she was still sleeping at noon. So, we "rushed out" and went to the Arc de Triumph.

Jonah invited us to his and Jon's apartment that night for the second Passover seder. They did an excellent job. It was really nice. We told them we wanted to take a boat ride along the Seine (a river) and they told us not to do it. The next day, we woke up early, took the metro to Notre Dame, walked along the Seine, took the boat ride, and saw a bunch of famous things (though, I'm not exactly sure what).

That night we went Salsa dancing with Jonah, Jon, Curren and friends. We got off the metro and I asked this girl for directions to "Barrio Latino." She points us in the direction and told us she was going there also. I had a feeling this was Vanessa, Jonah and Jon's friend. Turns out, it was and I created a plan where we would walk in together and tell them we've been friends since childhood. Yeah, they didn't fall for it.

They asked us, "so what did you do today? You took a ride on the Siene." Bugger. (They say this in England.) Jonah, Curren and these randoms taught me how to salsa dance (or what the randoms thought was salsa. I'm pretty sure they were just groping me), and I taught them a few moves I made up but could pass for salsa, I'm sure. I said my good-bye's at the end of the night and got into a cab, where I left my phone.

I was phone-less. Emily was phone-less. My aunt's apartment building was locked with a code we didn't know. It was 2 a.m. We had six Euros on us. No matter (they also say this in England), I would just find someone with a cell phone and call my mom to call my aunt to let us in the building. Well, we couldn't find someone who spoke English and had two men basically tell us we'd be sleeping on the street. While Emily was making plans to rent a hotel room, I found someone who let me call the U.S.

The next day, we walked five miles and saw Musee Rodin (where "The Thinker" is), walked along the Champs-Elysees (apparently the most famous street in the world) and went to the Eiffel Tower. I was pooped and slept until 1:30 p.m. the next day. We then took the chunnel back to London and actually made it on time (not going say it was because I left Emily in charge this time). All I'm going to say is that the entire time we were in London, our phone was off by an hour (not going say this is why we missed the crossing of the guards).

And now we're back! And I'm exhausted.

The Story File

You guys will never believe what happened to me.

So, it started out as an average day in Madison, W.I.: cows, cheese, snow, nothing out of the ordinary. The chain of events started when my phone broke. This wasn't like the last time where it "broke" and I was freaking out and telling everyone, and then I charged it. My phone legitimately would not turn on and it was fully charged. I decided to take a trip to the Apple store.

I was on a time crunch, so I immediately called a cab. I had an hour and a half before a meeting with the Journalism advisor. The cab company said they would take 15 minutes to get to the AX house (the O got stolen. I have a theory it was Myles because he's the only guy in Madison who could reach the top of the house). The cab took 25 minutes. I was freaking.

The driver strikes up a conversation with me about the weather and somehow brings up that he used to drive in NYC and once drove George Clooney to a hotel. So naturally, I ask if he has George's autograph on him and if he would give it to me. Surprisingly, he didn't. But he DID have a novel George was reading and left in the cab, with his markings in it. It also just so happened that he brought it to the union cab office center place to show one of his coworkers that day because a conversation about GC had come up the day before. Ridiculous, I know.

The cab driver and I got to talking for a while. He kept laughing with me (it was actually at me but I'll pretend like it was with me) and said I was a pretty charming girl. So, I obviously took this opportunity to ask if he can be my driver on the way home and pick me up at exactly 4:30. I also asked if he could go to the union cab office center place and get the novel. He said if he has no one else to drive, he would.

I now had 40 minutes to fix my phone and get to the Journalism office. I run into the mall and fall on my face in the crowded food court, where maybe 150 people start clapping. The woman behind the Chocolate Shoppe stand/booth/whatever you call the "restaurants" in the food court said she would give me free ice cream because I was so embarrassed. Sweet girl. Anyway, I take my ice cream and happily make my way to the Apple store. As I walk in, I swing my arm into an iTouch stand and the iTouch falls out of the case onto the floor and breaks.

An employee approaches me and gives me the option to pay for it or to pay for the cost of fixing it, so I start to cry. He felt bad so he said he would fix my phone for free if it was not a big problem. Well, my friends, he held the power button and lock button at the same time which is the "force turn on" button, and my phone turned on. I was now crying of happiness and decided to celebrate and got another ice cream. I had 20 minutes to get home so I run outside and the cab wasn't there. I called union cab and they said Stan (the cab driver) was on his way.

10 minutes later, Stan arrives and I'm flustered. Stan asks me what's wrong and I start venting about the fact that I had to pay for an iTouch that I didn't want to buy and and that I had to make it to a Journalism meeting in 10 minutes and I couldn't be late. Stan said, "I have something to cheer you up," and whips out the novel. Can you guys believe George Clooney was reading "Up in the Air?" I would think that he knew the plot line.

I was distracted from my anxiety with this golden treasure. What happens then? The cab putters and Stan pulls to the side. Stan turns around and looks apologetic. "What's wrong, Stan?" I ask. "The car battery died," he informs me. Well let me tell you, I was not happy with Stan. I start crying again and he felt so bad that he did not make me pay, called another cab, and GAVE ME THE NOVEL TO KEEP. Yes, friends. I own George's novel with his little markings in the margins.

The cab shows up relatively quickly since we were not that far, but I was 15 minutes late. I run into the building and see that the Journalism office is closed and locked. BUGGER. So I go home, turn on the computer, and check my email. I see that I have a notification from Schwoch (the Journalism advisor). "Can't make it to the meeting, Alex. Something came up. I'm sorry but I have to postpone."

And then pigs flew.

The Bully File

You know you go to UW-Madison when a 4' 5" girl (I may be exaggerating, yet who am I to talk?) comes into your room and yells at you because you’re not out at 9:45 p.m.

Nicole (or as I like to call her, Nicky, because she hates it): “You’re a nancy!”

Me: “Whyyy?”

Nicky: “Look at you right now. It’s Friday night at 9:45. You’re under the covers. Motionless. Talking about diet coke.* Your retainer is right here. I’m surprised it’s not in your mouth.”

Listen, Nicole (responding now with what I couldn’t think of back then - 2 minutes ago), I'M TIRED. I know, it s great comeback - it DID take me a couple of minutes to think of it.

So, in retrospect, it probably didn’t help that I was laughing so hard that I immediately took my computer out and started blogging what she said. 
“Blogging. Now we’re having fun!” she said - pretty sarcastically, if you ask me. Which by the way, is interesting, considering she actually has "The Voj Files" bookmarked on her computer.

Well, guys, I did end up going out. Being bullied around by someone that size is not fun. I would know. We’re a feisty species.

I want to add a side note: Did you know that Facebook chat doesn’t recognize the word Facebook? Pretty weird, huh?

Oh, and shout-out to Emily Kesner, love ya girl. Adam don’t make fun of me. Speaking of whom, Adam, I miss you! Find out when I can come to Duke.

*I may have a diet coke addiction problem.

The My Big Fat Persian/Israeli Family File

As you all know, or should know, I’m Persian. My dad is the head of the Persian Mafia (so don’t mess), and my whole family is a bunch of Persians. Now, I’ll admit, I don’t know the language. I know some words, phrases and numbers 1-10, so I string them all together so people think I’m fluent. For example, if someone asks me to speak Farsii (which is the Persian language), I will say something like “man haile, cherah aziat miconi, choobi, yak doe se.” This means “I like why are you bothering me okay one two three.” And they’ll be impressed. Of course it’s not written like that. Farsii doesn’t use the English alphabet, but I am trying to make a point.

I was joking about my dad being the head of the Persian mafia by the way - or was I?

What Persian men do on Friday nights..or at least the men in my family

Anyway, what inspired that little rant is that I went home for the weekend for my second cousin’s wedding. So, not only were all my first cousins home, but my second cousins from Israel and California, and some of my family that lives in Canada. A little background:I have eight first cousins on my mom’s side, four of whom I’m really close to and see around twice a week when I’m home. They’re all a little older than me, aged somewhere in between 21-and 24-years-old. They, along with my brother and I, are referred to by our aunts, uncles and parents as the “Six Pack.” We’re cool, I know. Anyway, I’m kind of like the black sheep of the six of us, as I get made fun of by them ALL THE TIME. I kind of see a pattern between them and everyone else in my life. But, it’s ok. If I got embarrassed easily, I would never leave my room.

To show you what I deal with, I’ll explain how they went to town on my blog. All weekend.

Adam (my brother) mocking my blog: “Hey guys! Why do you read my blog? Shout-out to Aaron for being so cool. Today I went to the cafeteria. Shout out to Jeremy who’s reading this on a different schedule. I went to class. Shout out to Emily who is in Sevilla. I hope you’re having a great time. Speaking of time, there was a time when I saw Aaron today. Shout-out to Aaron again!”

Delilah (my cousin) mocking my blog: “Today, my friend got a fake ID. Instead of telling me he got a fake ID, he said “Chika Chika Yeah.” I laughed. I would have thought it was funny with one chika but he threw in two chika’s for good measure.”

Alex (my cousin): “When you wrote in your last post ‘I don’t know why you guys read my blog?’ I was thinking ‘I don’t know why, either.’”

So, yeah. That’s what I deal with. This happened on the way to THE city (yes, THE city- and im not talking about Chicago), where my cousins, brother and I were going to have dinner together and then meet up with my Israeli second cousins at a lounge for drinks. In retrospect (and at the time), we realized it’s not the best idea to wing where you’re going to go to dinner in NYC on a Saturday night. Not only that, but we all wanted different types of food. So to decide, we first all tried to vote on what type of food we wanted. Yeah, that didn’t work. Then we told my cousin Delilah who lives in the city to throw out names of restuarants around where we were. She buckled under the pressure. Adam called Maxi, a sports bar, to figure out if we could get a table. They said “we do not have a table available” and Adam responded with “when will you do have a table available?”

After dinner, we headed to the lounge. After Daniellah’s 14th attempt to parallel park, we went inside and I had the best time. I hadn’t seen my second cousins in a while and it was good times. I miss and love them, and couldn’t wait for the wedding.

At the wedding ceremony, I was reminded of the last wedding of their’s we went to, when they played live music, song after song, and my cousin Daniellah and I were getting antsy. As the sixth song starts playing, Dani goes “this is track 6 out of 19. This song is called ‘Why?’ or in Farsii ‘Cherah?”

Dancing, drinking, taking the camera away from my mom, it was a lot of fun. Oh, and interesting people; this waiter came up to me and Delilah and said, "So i hear this is a pretty crazy party" and when my cousin responded with "I don't think I know what you mean," he said "sex, drugs." Nope, definitely didnt know what he meant. But I'm pretty sure he was the one lighting it up, not us.

I’m happy I went home and miss them all already.

The Weekend File

I was thinking the other day (I'll give you a minute to climb back onto the chair you just fell off), and I'm not quite sure why you guys read my blog. I'm in Madison, in the midst of cow-loving, cheese enthusiasts. Sure UW-Madison is a crazy college town filled with fun people and good times, but it's not like I'm eating this apparently amazing cheese in France (hey, Jonah and Jon!), walking on cobble-stoned streets in Italy (what-up, Becca?), trying to book travel plans and giving the wrong passport information in Sevilla (miss you, Eck!), surfing in 96-degree weather in South Africa (told you I read your blog, Jeremy), giving London a "stern talking to" (Z Mills), or live in ZBT where anything and everything goes (Z Richards, how you doinn?). So, I just want to thank everyone for reading this, especially the one or two people I didn't force to ;).

So what's been going on lately? Well, on Thursday night, I went on an adventure to the movie theatre (and when I say adventure, that's no exaggeration). Mickey and I thought it would be a great idea to buy wine at the theatre, being the sophisticated college students we are. Turns out, not such a good idea. For those of you who know me, I'm a one and done kind of girl, and let's just say I was trying to find the bathroom in the theatre, got lost and ended up at the bank across the street.

On Friday, my birthright trip had a reunion, where Noah and I kicked some tush at beerpong (and by kick some tush, I mean we won by a cup) and four of our friends on our trip from San Diego came to visit. I miss you guys, come back.

(Game winning shot...not really, but shot at some point in the game)

On Saturday, Alyssa and I went on a date to Tutto Pasta and then went to Zeebs and left with everyone to the Purim ball at Zander's. It was so much fun and I was witness to a few relationships sprouting - Purim just brings people together. Danny Solarz got sour cream on his shoe and it just blew his mind, as he would not stop talking about it for the next two hours. I've heard of crazier things but hey, to each his own.

On Sunday, my "little" gave me a gorgeous paddle that looks like snow. If you guys have problems envisioning it (although I have a pretty dead on description), here you go:

And on Sunday night, Alyssa, Joel, Benny Ginsberg (shout-out to Benny, a really cool and hilarious freshman), and I ate Gino's for dinner. Joel, Alyssa, and I were supposed to go pick it up and Benny's only responsibility was to order it. Turns out, he ordered four spaghetti bologneses under the name Vladimir, a 300-pound Russian. We had to explain to the waiter that Vlad was hungry. Very hungry.

And now, I just want to take this moment to shout-out to one of my really good friends and the craziest girl I know (seriously, if you guys only knew the stories. Actually, I'm sure many of you do), Jake-qui Black. She's my little mashugannah (that's how Jonah told me to spell this word - not sure if he was joking), and I found the cutest picture of her when she was in high school. And by "I found," I mean she literally searched for a picture herself and asked me to put it on my blog.

That's all for now! See you back here soon! (Or, at least that's what I'm telling myself.)

The "You had me at blog" File featuring Joel Pachefkkkk

You know that Twix commercial where a guy and girl talk about their ideals and the guy asks the girl back to his place? After receiving a disgusted look, he “chews it over” with a Twix and then says it's because he wants to blog about his ideals with her? Well, I was trying to do that with my blog last night, and it totally worked. So all you bloggers out there, try it, it’s gold.

So, in my last blog post I wrote a quote that my friend shared with my sorority: “if youre not the lead dog, you’ll never see the view.” But last night, my friend Aaron Tietelbaum said something equally profound that countered this thought- “Yeah, but if you’re the male dog behind the female dog, you have a pretty kickass view.” I laughed all night. He actually didn’t say kickass, he said “sweet,” but kickass has a pun- so, yes, pun intended.

Alright guys, I have a special treat for you. I brought in a guest blogger named Joel Pachefsky. But before he gives you his words of wisdom, I would like to shout out to Lily Dicker for being so supportive of my blog, to Noah Rotter because he was modest and said I didn’t have to give him a shout out in this blog but only on my Fb Hillel messages, Alyssa Rubnitz just for being her and to Danny Solarz for being so fine.

Joel is the hilarious creator and writer of The Daily Monoblogue, which can be found at thedailymonoblogue.blogspot.com. Check it out.

Here are his words of wisdom:

The Olympics is one of my favorite sporting events--even greater than the Superbowl. The countries of the world come together for two weeks and put their best athletes on the line to compete. In a sense, the problems of the world are somewhat forgotten while countries bring their differences to the courses/tracks/rinks/jumps/halfpipes to prove their superiority. The Twenty Ten (2010) Winter Olympics in Vancouver--or as Steven Colbert so eloquently states, the "Quadrennial Cold Weather Athletic Competition"--are coming to a final close tonight. As the world says goodbye to the Olympics, we now have to focus on issues that actually matter (i.e. health care reform, the economy, and crazy nuclear armed Iranians such as Voj.) But before focusing on other worldly and fundamentally important issues, I believe we should take some time to reflect on the past two weeks. I would like to focus my reflection on one thing in particular: Curling.

For some reason, I have a newfound appreciation for curling. Curling is one of those classic winter sports, similar to how shot-put, javelin, and discus belong in the summer Olympics, curling can fairly call the winter Olympics home. The Scottish were the only people drunk enough to think that sliding chunks of granite across a slab of ice was a good idea. After all, they did come up with the sport of golf. Check out this Youtube video of Robin Williams explaining the development of golf in the Scottish mind: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcnFbCCgTo4. Yes... Golf. Thank you Scotland. But enough with golf, back to curling. Although it seems like what Eskimos would do on a cruise ship when the shuffleboard court freezes over, there is so much precision and accuracy needed to slide the stones into the correct position. I'm still not 100% in tune with the "sport" yet, however, I can explain the different plays: the guard, the draw, and the takeout. But I won't. It would be unnecessary and boring.

Until the next winter Olympics, I must bid au revoir to curling and just sit back and wait (with much excitement) for curling to return into my life.

Thank you, Joel. Joel will be performing at the bloggers academy next week.

The Traffic File

I’m gonna (can I be this informal in a blog? It’s my blog, so I say heck yeah) start this blog with an inspirational quote that my friend Tamara shared with my entire sorority one night: “If you’re not the lead dog, your view will never change.” And people say that sorority girls don’t have depth...

In other news, there is a Purim party that Hillel is throwing on Saturday night, and I don’t know what to be. I thought my two outfits were really creative last weekend. I went to a stoplight party (you wear green if you’re single, yellow if you’re seeing someone and red if you’re taken) dressed in black with white strips of tape down the middle and went as a road with Alyssa Rubnitz (we were nicknamed “the roads”). Then for my social, the theme was “saving lives,” so I went as a traffic cone (I guess I just love traffic? I’m seeing a trend). So, I was impressed with my creativity until I saw a freshman AXO traffic cone...

and compared it to me ...

I guess I could have done a better job.

The Misplaced File

Laying here in my bed (also referred to by many as a vortex - and by many, I mean Erica Winters) and reflecting on my college experiences have led me to the decision that I want to blog about my life in college. Or part of it, as I’m not disclosing everything that goes on in my life. It has also led me to the decision that my college experience thus far has not only been a unique one, but a great one.

Where but on a college campus, are you never alone and when you are, you are so excited that you literally can’t decide what to do in this rare moment (Burn notice? Sleep? Burn notice? Sleep?). Where but on a college campus can you form such a tight relationship with your housefellow (RA for all you non-Wisco students) and still go out to lunch with him/her the following year? Where but on a college campus can you like a boy who makes out with four other girls on your floor in one night and then realize, hey, maybe this boy isn’t the one for you (with many following awkward encounters). Where but on a college campus can you go out five out of seven nights while finding time to get your other responsibilities out of the way? (Yes, I said other. I consider going out a responsibility in college).

I have created a home away from home here. Yes, I know that’s a cliché and the one major rule they teach you in the Journalism school (aside from that the passive voice is the vain of the writer’s existence) is to stay away from clichés. But it’s true.

So, I’m excited to maintain this blog, not only to inform my friends who are abroad on what’s going on in my life (because let’s face it, they’re definitely sitting there thinking about it), but also to reflect on my college experiences and what makes them mine.

Side note: my roommate (shout out to Emily Eaton) said people may construe my comment in the parenthesis as cocky if they didn't know me, but hopefully you guys know me and aren't random people just following my blog (however, random people are welcome) and know that I am totally joking.